Chuck Norris Jokes for Kids

Chuck Norris does not restart his computer; the computer apologizes and continues.

Chuck Norris can win a staring contest with a closed door.

Celebrities ask Chuck Norris for permission before becoming famous.

Chuck Norris wore socks with sandals and fashion changed its mind.

Chuck Norris’s wallet has its own credit rating.

Chuck Norris won an election with one vote and no opponent dared recount it.

Chuck Norris bowled a perfect game with a ping-pong ball.

Chuck Norris graduated before the first bell rang.

Chuck Norris can herd cats using only a raised eyebrow.

Chuck Norris found the final bug; it now works in quality assurance.

Chuck Norris orders medium-rare toast and the chef makes it happen.

Chuck Norris can pause a movie by clearing his throat.

Chuck Norris can ring a church bell over the phone.

Chuck Norris’s treadmill has a “please slow down” button.

Chuck Norris attends meetings that could have been a thought.

Chuck Norris’s career ladder has an express elevator.

Chuck Norris signed a history book; it became a primary source.

Chuck Norris hums a tune and silence joins in harmony.

Chuck Norris put the scientific method through peer review.

Chuck Norris’s phone stays at 101 percent to leave room for emergencies.

Chuck Norris can disarm an alarm clock before it rings.

Chuck Norris photobombed a satellite image from indoors.

Chuck Norris’s old boots are displayed as formal wear.

Chuck Norris’s loose change has a retirement plan.

Chuck Norris debates both sides and they agree with him.

Chuck Norris’s victory lap starts before the starting whistle.

Chuck Norris’s report card grades the school.

Chuck Norris’s rubber duck explains quantum physics back to him.